So, it was a quiet Tuesday evening. Kyle and I had a tiring day, he worked all day, then we went swimming, and we all know how the sun just drains you of energy.
We headed to the commissary after the evening at the beach, and we got stuff to make dinner. We came home and Kyle cooked up a couple steaks, and I made some garlic potatoes and green beans. We just sat down on the couch after filling our bellies, and we were watching Jon and Kate plus 8. A nice relaxing evening before we head to bed, and then it happened....
Kyle was sitting on my left on the couch, when he yelps and points to the sliding glass door and goes, " WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!?!" He jumps up and I look over to what he's pointing at, and there is the largest, most disgusting centipede thing I have ever seen! I start panicking and yelling, " what do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?!" then I have a delayed response, and I can't move. It finally hits me that we JUST bought bug spray yesterday ( thank goodness!) So I RUN into the kitchen to find it. I leave Kyle here to keep an eye on this small dinosaur of a bug, to make sure it doesn't run and hide! I'm slamming open all the cupboards because my brain is not functioning and I cannot remember where I put the bug spray. I can hear Kyle in the living room yelling something to me, and he says " ABOVE THE WASHING MACHINE!" so my brain, due to my panicking, hears " above the dishwasher" so I am standing on the countertops, slamming open the cupboards while the spouse yells at me to hurry. Then I hear him say washing machine again between his shouts and it clicks. I run over to the washing machine and see the can of Raid in the BACK of the cabinet, for once in my life, I am too short to reach something. I am jumping and reaching as Kyle continues to panick. I finally reach the Raid and I storm out into the living room!
I get to the living room and see this huge bug scattering all over the tile floor, trying to out run Kyle. He runs toward the couch and Kyle KICKS him toward the other side of the room! He rolls across the floor, and Kyle is yelling " shoot him! shoot him!" I hold the button down on the can and just start spraying in a frenzy, coating my floor with bug spray. Eventually, I sprayed the creature, and he starts THRASHING around, all over the floor. Kyle shouts out, " OMG! WTF!!!" then the bug runs toward the tv, and now we got him pinned up against the wall. I closed my eyes and just held a steady stream of Raid right on his ass for like 2 minutes until there was a lake of fluid around him. This bug is trying to FIGHT the spray, hes thrashing and trying to sting or pinch ( whatever he does with those claw looking things) whatever he can touch. Finally he stops moving, and Kyle think hes just stunned.
Kyle runs into the kitchen, and comes back with a lighter. Kyle really doesn't think hes dead, so he wants to torch him. Given the state we were in, we thought that was a great idea. Then my brain came back awake and I had to stop him given that the bug spray is flammable lol.
The bug starts to curl up, so we think hes finally dead, so Kyle scoops him up with a cardboard box, and I just keep yelling, " get it outa the house!!" and I'm jumping around and pretty much panicking. He walks back over to the slider to open it to throw it outside, and the slider is locked. Not watching what he's doing, the bug starts to slide down off the box onto his wrist. I screamed and yelled, " he's going to get on your hand!" Kyle then drops the box and the bug and yells so loud " Ahh! " lol then he looks at me and goes, " don't do that to me!!!" He is beyond freaked out about this bug lol.
Finally we get the slider open and he flings the bug far far away outside. After the bug is gone, and everything calms down is when I start to panick and want to cry lol. I somehow managed to snap pictures of this thing during all of this. I walked back into the kitchen, and it's a DISASTER from me hunting for the big spray. It's crazy how once your adrenaline gets going, everything becomes a blur.
After I calmed down, I clorox bleached and mopped the ENTIRE living room floor at 9:30 at night. The neighbors must think we're crazy for all the yelling and screaming, unless they do, are used to it because they have strange bugs as well...
Sleeping should be fun tonight....
1 comments:
Excellent. What good is a husband who freaks out about bugs!?!?!? Haha. John's always brings in random bugs INTO the house and wants to show them to Victoria. Like the grasshopper he was showing to her, that got loose. We had to chase it around the house, and then after catching it, he gives it back to Victoria, who then proceeds to try to squish it. Seriously. What the heck?
Post a Comment